Become a Vessel to Receive Pleasure

While our modern dating techniques have taken on an avante-garde face lift, the path to a woman’s orgasm is nevertheless elusive. Sometimes even if we get down the perfect mixture of tempo, pressure, feelings of arousal, safety in a partner’s presence, etc. we can’t seem to fall off the edge.

Why is that?

In hindsight of searching for the O during sex and occasionally during self-pleasure, one of the root causes emerged as an inability to ‘receive’ and relax into the sensations occurring enough to let the pleasure build and erupt internally. People who experience orgasms have an ability to let the experience take over their body versus controlling which spasms happen where, monitoring the sounds coming out, and so on which end up hijacking the orgasm.

To create change on a physical level, awareness of what the metaphysical plane is requiring from us is inevitable. A surrender to what-is puts the body into a mind space that cultivates room for an orgasmic build up. If we allow the thoughts of “Wow I can feel his hand touching my inner thigh, which leads to an electric pulse being stimulated in my clitoris” or “Did that word or slap really just turn me on?” In a state of relaxed acceptance, we notice thoughts like these come up and float on as opposed to latching onto them and attempting to decipher their meaning about our desires. The trouble of analyzing in the moment is that it yanks us out of feeling and into thinking. Thinking is the antithesis to an orgasm. Clear the mind for the channels of pleasure to open.

Receiving is the nature of a woman but an uncomfortable adjustment for the modern lady. As much as we proclaim being Queens and entertain the thought of the world worshiping us, we castrate men and expect them to still treat us like Princesses. Stick with me while I explain this concept… ‘back in the day’ when women had less rights, they had no choice but to accept that which was offered to them by their husband or boyfriend or father. This forced submission limited our creation ability and impact women could play in the world and also it placed us in a position to receive continually, for better or worse. In the modern day, however, women’s access to building a financially successful life sans men and constant pressure to be treated ‘as an equal’ to men leaves us with a feeling of discomfort and guilt when we do receive.

Therefore even beyond the act of intimacy with a man we love, we must be tapped into the energetic frequency of receptivity. The heart waves we emit when we shift our ‘do’ energy into one of ‘be’ lets the shift happen on a molecular level which relaxes the muscles and body to receive orgasmic pleasure via the nerves. Begin to notice if the main focus of your attention is on accomplishments or ‘reasons’ why you should be experiencing pleasure such as lighting candles, slowing down the foreplay, etc. and recognize if your overarching energy is still one of gaining or conquering, a ‘victory’ over your Yoni and its submission to your actions. The conquest mentality is the stark opposite of the embodiment of being a feminine vessel that lets pleasure run its course through the body. 

One of the best practices to retrain your nervous system to relax in presence of pleasure versus constrict and protect is yoni dearmouring. It can be done externally, through the stomach and skin area using an organic oil such as almond, olive, coconut, etc. and a crystal wand (available on Etsy) or using your fingers. Pleasure practices can prepare your body for orgasms. Go slow and look at yourself in the mirror during experimental touch, tracing the outer lips and circling the clitoral hood or head; stroking the sliver of space between the two inner lips back and forth feeling the softness of the skin at the entrance of your Vulva. Feeling into the back end of your Vulva entrance, about half an inch or four centimeters before your perineum starts and enticing the bartholomew’s glands to lubricate your Yoni. Light touch and a focus on the sensations that touch brings helps to ride the waves of pleasure which eventually leads to the elusive orgasm.

Exploring the concept of ‘receptivity’ and the role it plays in our sensual lives broadens our relationship to sex. It takes the pressure off our partners’ performance or even the tools we brought to do the job. It reminds us of our spiritual nature and how the vibrations we entertain matter for the pleasure we feel in the cells.