Make Love to Yourself

The experience of self-pleasure is typically one we have discovered under blankets at night; fingers on the dominant hand would roam and follow the feeling of “oh that feels good...” but have we ever learned how to make love to ourselves?

Discovering the potential within our bodies can be a fun and curious experience. Unfortunately the majority of sexual practices for women center on vibrators and instant gratification toys. While this *may* (strong emphasis on may) push women to the holy grail of an orgasm, it skips the best part and after prolonged use, vibrators tend to desensitize the nerves. Retraining our skin to feel sensual touch and build pleasure takes time. 

One of the best ways to deepen our sensory response to erotic touch is to set the scene. Similar to our romantic desire of being wined and dined, our bodies desire a luxurious ritual for self pleasure. Different things matter to different people – figure out what matters most to you. Is it the freshness or softness of the bedsheets? Perhaps it is the scent of jasmine or rose oil that you can’t inhale enough of that courses through your body and relaxes your mind. Lighting plays a big factor in my personal ability to feel open and willing to play. Both sunlight pouring through the window on a quiet weekend day and soft candle lighting in the evening prepare me for intimacy. A pile of laundry or a messy table may distract from the moment so the options are to either remove it from sight or go into another room of the house. Presence is key for pleasure. Instead of waiting for a perfectly clean environment, create the space needed to invite sensuality.

Slow down your practice. The majority of my self stimulation experiences used to be quick and uneventful to get to that sweet momentary pleasure and fall asleep. Preparing for self play initiates foreplay because it excites the mind for what is to come. Slowing down the touch and including the whole body during play lets women explore new territory. A hand might caress the curve of the hips and that quickens the breath or fingernails drag on the surface of the skin, which sends shivers down the spine. Slowing down helps switch up a routine and opens the door to discover pleasurable sensations in areas that may have been overlooked.

A warm oil full body massage is a great way to get into a sensual mood and coax the mind into the moment. Focusing on our feet and drawing attention to the sensation on the bottom of the feet can feel good. Spending time massaging the breasts awakens the heart chakra and opens women’s receptivity channels. The heart space is the gatekeeper of the Yoni and her entrance. If there is an inclination for kink, during self pleasure women can tug their hair or play with light slaps on the booty. Engaging with our own bodies as playgrounds for exploration can rewire the nervous system for pleasure, which is the first step to experiencing an orgasm.

Now let’s talk about material…crystal and glass massage wands are nonporous and safe for internal use. The quality of the crystal used is paramount when purchasing a sex toy. Cheaply made wands may create environments for bacteria to grow or cracks in the product itself which can damage the inside of the Yoni. The products sold through Essence of Rose put women’s safety first with sustainable business practices. Discover sacred tools here. 

A customer favorite is the Sacred Squirter, whose shape is designed to stimulate the G-zone and build soft spongy tissue in the area. If the G-zone has not been touched it can shrivel and become hard, making it more difficult for women to squirt. All women have the ability to squirt with enough relaxation and hydration. The curve of the SS has ridges on both sides of the toy which helps women ejaculate. This is an outward orgasm that releases energy as opposed to a traditional orgasm that pulls energy inward. The amount of liquid will vary from woman to woman and will NOT look like the porn movies where bottles gush out. The biggest requirement to feeling this experience is to surrender. Find more information on the Sacred Squirter here. 

Certain wands have dual use for internal and external massage. Another glass wand is the Cervix Serpent, which is double ended for different strokes in the Yoni. The length and shape of this wand makes pleasuring the cervix comfortable for women lying on their backs or on their knees.  I do recommend joining the Vulcan Ability Library for the Yoni Anatomy class and other included practices that can be done with the massage wands. The bulbous end, similar to an egg, fits snugly into the top of the vaginal canal where the cervix is located.The thinner tail end of the wand can be used for more pinpointed pleasure and can be circled in the cervix area for a distinct sensation. It is useful for ladies who desire to experience a cervical orgasm. The cervix is the portal between the Spiritual and the Material realm because it is the opening between the womb and vaginal canal. The Cervix Serpent is also an excellent tool for massaging the pelvic region. The wand can externally massage ovaries and release tension in the womb. Instructions are included with its purchase. Energetically, wombs represent a space for gestation both for humans and creative ideas. When women massage their wombs, they gently release energies and emotions stuck in this area that may be inhibiting them from creating something new in their lives.

The rose quartz wand is called La Fleur, which translates to flower in french. It is double ended and intended for both the Yoni and the backdoor. The smooth surface is intended for the Yoni. The bubble-like end provides a grip surface for the anus sphincter and prevents the toy from getting stuck. Rose quartz is known as a stone for unconditional love and associated with the heart chakra. It is a beautiful wand to use for the weight of the stone and its heart opening properties. When women bring awareness and sensual touch to their butts, they are working with their root chakra, the seat of safety. Explore more about this wand here.

The journey of making love to yourself is a process that requires a playful approach. As more women prioritize pleasure, they can regulate their emotional bodies, cleanse their minds from day-to-day worries, and live relaxed lives. We can channel orgasmic energy into our realities to manifest our desires once we understand how to cultivate this energy within the body. Take the first step and pick out your preferred toy here.